Being Needy

I train alone. I'm not 100% sure I know why - I use the excuse that I'm too competitive - but I think in all honesty, that is not true.  I'm pretty sure the real reason is that my pride wants be able to say I did it on my own.  That I was strong enough, brave enough, independent enough not to need anyone else in order to succeed.  And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  We all want to know we can make it on our own, if need be. 

On my last long run, I had the absolute pleasure of meeting a very special older gentleman.   I sometimes run a 1/2 mile road that laps around and through a local cemetery.  He was there early that morning and each time I passed by him I watched as he unloaded a lawnmower bag and a gas can...then a hose...then there was a rake... and the lawn mower.... then he was raking fallen leaves into a pile...next lap the leaves were gone and the lawn mower bag was full...finally, he sat his truck, watching a sprinkler water the grass...lap after lap he watched...

I assumed the area he cared for was where a relative was buried - probably his wife - and he was making his once-in-a-while stop to visit the site and keep the area clean.  It got me thinking about needing other people.  About man "not being an island".  Really questioning why I run alone and, at that moment, kind of wishing I had someone running alongside me.

I think there comes a time in everyone's life when you realize that being strong means having the strength to ask others for help.  That being brave means not being afraid to tell others you need them to fight alongside you.  That being independent means others have shored up your foundation enough to allow you to stand strong on your own.


In my running life, it means I've had to make that phone call to ask my husband to come pick me up because my body is telling me it's time to stop and I'm still miles from home.  It's when I ran my first marathon and got that renewed burst of energy from seeing my friend and husband at various places along the course.  And crossing that finish line knowing my family was watching!  I needed them to be there.  Being needy is not a weakness!  There is a setting aside of pride, a dismissal of fear, a childlike faith in letting someone know you need them.  And, please, if there is one take-away message, it is this: If someone tells you they need you, do everything in your power to be there for them.  It is a vulnerable moment.

So, back to the older man in the cemetery.  As I'm struggling through my 16th mile, I notice he's cleaned up his gear and is looking in my direction.  I slowed and pulled my earbuds out in order to talk to him and he says to me, "You're incredible! You keep on running!".  I thanked him and asked if this was a relative he was visiting.  He answered, "That's my wife.  I come out here twice a week to take care of her.  We were married for 57 and 1/2 years...".  Even in death, he still needed to be needed.

 

His Wife

 

No, Sir, you are incredible.

Run Strong!